I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either. Unless you include my cat.” – Frankie Boyle, “From what I understand about child birth, it changes you ‘downstairs’. 30 of Romesh Ranganathan’s funniest jokes and quotes I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cup – just happy to be there.” – Russell Howard, “Not all sexual experiences have to be filled with anger. Masturbation always leads to sex. Obviously, they don’t know that yet… – Gary Delaney, Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer’s 41 best jokes and most surreal quotes I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.

The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex-tape. 11. But you probably can’t tell in these trousers. By becoming a ventriloquist. Doctor: “Sir, I have some bad news. What’s as big as an elephant but weighs 0 kg? What is so fragile that when you say its name you break it? I tell of all things in the world that people do. Doctor: “Because I’m trying to examine you.”, Bartender: “What’s the matter buddy?” For example, in the movie Saw, Jigsaw, the lead character of the movie, gives his victims a chance at survival by engaging them in a riddle. 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners

What has three ways out and just one way in. While most of the times the answer is quite easy, there are times when his riddles are really difficult to comprehend. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Don’t look! What falls, but does not break, and what breaks but does not fall?

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Gifer. '” – Gary Delaney, “Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.” – Frankie Boyle, “One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears. It then goes up to the next floor up, no-one gets out, but 12 people get in. 20 of The Young Ones’ most gloriously silly quotes.

100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny)

What is the maximum possible number of times you can subtract the number 5 from number 25?

What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? 26 of Stewart Lee’s most gloriously acerbic jokes 17 of Ken Dodd’s most ingeniously funny jokes It’s too long. What gets quickly wet while drying?

No one ever saw me, nor ever will. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

He has married many women but has never been married.

I just don’t like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.” – Victoria Wood, “I’ve got a boyfriend at the moment. What did the traffic light say to the car? Two test tickles. Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

I never was, am always to be.

It is not in your tummy, but somewhere above. 36, and a bee is priced at Rs. I was still w***ing.” – Gary Delaney, “Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.” – Billy Connolly, “Sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.” – Peter Kay, “You should only have sex with a famous person if you really, really genuinely want to tell people about it afterwards.” – Sara Pascoe, “The annoying thing about Christmas is running out of batteries because the kids want them for their toys. What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Why is there no jam? One’s a Goodyear. The switches control three light bulbs on the other side of the door.

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